It’s Monday night and the monsters have gone to bed. It’s been a wonderful day here, although a bit chilly out. Today my kiddos ate the last two chocolate chip pumpkin muffins from the fridge, so unless I want to give them toast tomorrow (which I don’t— the organic bread I buy in lieu of the homemade is $6.50 a loaf. So obviously, it’s rationed.) I had better churn something up. And this afternoon I felt particularly motivated, because we got Sally’s very first report card today! Yea, really! I feel SO OLD! All is well on the grade-level expectations, except… she had 9 tardies in the second quarter. Just the second.
Now, I’m not sure what ramifications there are for a tardy in Kindergarten. Probably nothing, unless they want to make me (or Boo, who is usually the reason we’re late) serve detention. But, yes, it’s true. I think I have to own up to it and start pulling everyone out of bed 30 minutes sooner so that we can make it into the car three minutes earlier. I tracked it once, and it’s true: for every minute I hope to get us into the van sooner in the morning, I have to allow ten off the front end of the day. Everything that can be done the night before, from laying out clothes to packing lunch to finding shoes and placing them front-and-center, must be done. And even then, the amount of time they can loiter in the a.m. is maddening. And you would not believe (except probably you would) the tactics to which we must resort, from pulling off the covers to blasting “Sir Duke” to standing on my head on the end of the bed to get them up. And we’re still seven years shy of a teenager! So I am glad to have these to throw at them—literally—on the way out the door tomorrow.
Awesome Blueberry Muffins
Makes about 24. Because why would you want to make 12 muffins if it’s only going to last you two days?
Necessary: two standard muffin tins and something to line or grease them. An oven at 375⁰F.
Handy-Dandy: a kitchen gate to lock your family out when the house starts to smell amazing. Will power to eat just one.
1 cup coconut oil, or half coconut oil and half unsalted butter
1 cup evil, cheap, granulated white sugar
2/3 cup plain yogurt, I use Greek
1/3 cup milk; today I used half & half
1 scant tablespoon vanilla
4 cups white whole wheat flour, OR 1 cup evil all-purpose flour and 3 cups hard (regular) whole wheat flour.*
1 tsp salt
4 tsps baking powder
1 bag frozen blueberries; preferably wild, like my children.
*I prefer the white whole wheat flour because it is a softer variety of whole grain flour, but you can mimic the texture with a 3:1 ratio of regular whole wheat and unbleached all-purpose, and since I believe in using up what I already have in the house and I made cake last week, there you go.
Method to the Madness
- Preheat oven to 375⁰F. Get your muffin tins ready however you like them. I grease mine with a bit of expeller-pressed (nonhydrogenated) shortening. You only have to grease the bottoms as they should pull away from the sides as they bake.
- Cream coconut oil and/or butter with sugar, then beat in yogurt, milk, vanilla, and eggs in a big bowl. In the recipe pictured here, I threw in two additional egg whites leftover from birthday cake baking.
- Sift together flour(s), salt, and baking powder in a separate bowl.
- Gently pour flour over wet ingredients and stir until combined. Don’t overbeat. The batter will be super thick, almost like dough.
- Dump blueberries atop like so. Yay! Does this make anyone else want pie?
- You will really have to work to get those baby blues incorporated; it’s more a folding action than even stirring, since the batter is so thick…
…like cookie dough.
- Once the batter is a nice purple-y color, spoon it into the muffin tins. You will get 18 to 24 depending on how full you fill those cups.
Exhibit B. If you have unfilled muffin cups, fill them with water.
- Bake for 20-25 minutes, until you can press your fingertip on to the top of the muffin gently and it springs back.
- Cool in pans for 2 minutes before moving to a wire rack. Test one. Go on, you know you want to.
- Store in the fridge for up to 5 days or the freezer for…I’m not sure how long. We eat these up in 2 weeks.
- IF you have eaten all of your dinner vegetables, you can have a bedtime snack!
- If you have NOT eaten all of your dinner vegetables, you might still try and swipe one from your sister.