“Uh, I’m Not an Uber,” and other awkward moments in life

It’s totally normal to seek validation in the hecticness of our busy days. Do I look presentable? Is my breath OK? This minivan doesn’t make me look as uncool as I think it makes me look, right?

Oh Mama, of course it does.

Being a busy mom of three rambunctious hellions, I have had the occasional workout where the instructor tells me after class that my shirt (or my pants) was on inside out, and I’ve heard things like, “Did you know there’s a diaper trailing from your purse?” at the hardware store on a Saturday when I was without my children. I have been in the position to hand someone my credit card and offered a binky or a crayon or a pretend toy credit card instead. Once, while chatting with another mom near the sample station at Trader Joe’s, I fixed a cup of apple juice with coffee cream and nonchalantly extended it to her. Because I’m the hostess of my local store, apparently.

Let’s just say that I have done a lot of silly, stupid, sleep-deprived Mommy things while driving around in my minivan looking uncool. So imagine my delight this week when someone else made a funny mistake, and it wasn’t me!

The kids and I rolled up to retrieve Dr. Awesome from his place of employ on Tuesday night, whither he walks in the mornings. As we pulled into the circle in front of the building two dapper young professionals, with their trendy trimmed beards and suits with bow-ties, came out of the building. I expected shortly to see them retreating down the sidewalk to the bus station, Dolce trench coats catching a breeze. Then out of the corner of my eye I caught the figure of a man standing next to the sliding door. In that moment I realized they were on either side of me, hands stretched expectantly towards the van, patiently waiting for me to unlock it, and definitely missing the shocked expressions on the little passengers within. I rolled down my window and tilted my head at a man who looked like he’d stepped from the GQ style section.

“Uh, I’m not an Uber, if that’s what you’re wondering,” was all I could say, but hey, I could be! Wow the van must be a lot cleaner than I thought! was what went through my mind, because Uber has standards, right? And the poor guy looked so embarrassed, sheepishly mumbling, “Oh you’re not, oh wow I’m so sorry.”

He and his pal retreated to the building’s entry as my clean-shaven husband, in jeans and a leather jacket, came out the door and stole their ride. And he looked good doing it, because he’s totally trendy too. Trendy like the Fonz. We’re cool like that.

And we rocked out to the Trolls soundtrack all the way home.

One thought on ““Uh, I’m Not an Uber,” and other awkward moments in life

  1. I laughed out loud at this! Cheers to being the uncool moms in our minivans driving around with half-dazed looks on our sleep deprived faces! I think when my kids are older and they start demanding to be driven here and there I’ll simply say, “do I look like an Uber driver?!”

    Liked by 1 person

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