The Whole30: Not Just for Health Nuts Anymore

DAY 1.

As of two weeks ago I had planned to start my Whole30 today. Dr. Awesome is actually, finally, solidly onboard. But of course I assumed Pete’s birthday pizza and cake binge would be behind us, leftovers safely sent packing with the party guests.


Of course, due to Pete’s fever the night before, the party has been postponed and the pizza and cake won’t be upon us until Monday (aka Whole30 Day 3). Dr. Awesome, naturally, looked at me in alarm. “So… now when do we start our Whole30?” he asked.

We did count the days and we could postpone until Tuesday. That would put Day 30 on Ash Wednesday, of all days, already a day of fasting and abstinence (from meat). But I am sure that Pete’s party will not be the only time this month we’ll have to hike up our big-kid undies and turn down pizza. Or cake. Or bagels with schmear. These foods have a way of popping up in our society, anyway.

Exhibit A.



Today was Pete’s first violin concert. Mine was the lone boy second in line with three adorable and poised little girls. While they gazed out at the audience in their perfect positions– violins shouldered, bows ready to go– he stood absently moving a cloth tomato around the stage with his bow tip. He kept on moving that tomato the whole time the girls played their parts of the “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star Sandwich.” To his credit, the instant it was his turn (literally not missing a beat) his bow popped up and he played it perfectly, serious face afrown. Then he was done and he attended again to the tomato, stopping only to flip his violin upside down and hold it on his shoulder like a boombox, grinning broadly at the audience, while the girl next to him played.

But I digress.

The bagel and cream cheese pictured above was part of the post-concert reception I didn’t know they would have. I didn’t know because I was out of town last week and my intrepid husband brought three kids to concert practice all by himself because no teenage girl wants to babysit at 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning, and he apparently missed the reception sign-up sheet.

This is only Day 1, and we had a pretty filling breakfast (hard-boiled eggs wrapped in prosciutto, red peppers, cherry tomatoes, and bananas with almond butter) so turning down the goodies wasn’t hard.

What has been hard so far today is remembering not to lick my fingers.

Making the kids leftover birthday Eggos with peanut butter and maple syrup for breakfast, I got messy. Naturally as a mother of small children I have a tendency to clean the peanut butter knife on my index finger and lick it off. Duh, wouldn’t you? Calorie-free peanut butter (because it totally doesn’t count!) … Except it “counts” on the Whole30. So I washed my hands.

Sally left half an Eggo on her plate. I put it in the fridge instead of my mouth At the reception I had to make Bitsy’s bagel and unwrap her cupcake. Never before in my life– I am serious — have I washed cream cheese and frosting off of my hands.

I can suddenly see why people lose weight on this program. Just not licking my fingers for 30 days and I’ll probably lose five pounds.

Plus, you know, become a lot more gracious and ladylike, or something.


2 thoughts on “The Whole30: Not Just for Health Nuts Anymore

  1. You are brave girl! I just stick with my Weight Watchers and try to make good choices, but it’s so hard. On that note, I have a way you may be able to get your kiddos to eat veggies. I’ll be doing a blog post soon about it, so stay tuned!

    Liked by 1 person

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